“Oh, no, you can’t do that.”
Those words broke my heart this past Friday. My dentist was following up after I had oral surgery that morning and those are the words he spoke when I asked if it was OK to run the 5K Turkey Trot this week.
While he explained why I couldn’t exercise this week, all I could think of was it would be the first Thanksgiving day run I didn’t do since 2012. I did my first race even before I had gastric sleeve surgery.
After I hung up the phone and cried to my ever-supportive husband. I moaned about how stupid I was to have the surgery so close to Thanksgiving. Fortunately, as he does many times, he put everything back in perspective. I had to have this surgery and between Thanksgiving and Christmas, there really wouldn’t have been a better time to have it. And he was right and it was done so I had to move on.
My reaction surprised me though. Yes, I’m definitely the type of person who doesn’t like to change plans. I am an admitted planner although I’m always up for spontaneous activities. I do love traditions and I have run this race for years even if it’s in different cities. No, it wasn’t losing the money on the entry fees. Every Turkey Trot I’ve run as been for charity so I’m glad to support them even if I’m not running.
Maybe it’s losing out on time with my son that was bothering me. The last few races, he has run them although with his friends. Last year as we were new to the area , he ran with me though. I loved sharing the run, although not the steady rain, with him.
What I really think is bothering me, is that racing, particularly the Turkey Trot, is such an important part of the new healthy me. It’s part of what defines the “Down the Scale Jen.” And while I first did this race before my surgery, it was an important part of defining who I wanted to me after surgery. I would be a healthy person. I would be a runner. I would be normal.
Now, I realize it seems silly that missing one race changes who I am. I know it doesn’t. I am still committed to my weight loss journey. Well, it’s actually a healthy lifestyle journey. My decision to lose weight in turn made me confront many emotional issues that lead to my unhealthy eating habits. Exercise is a huge factor in keeping me focused on being a healthy person.
So missing one race won’t change that. It’s disappointing, but as soon as my dentist tells me I can run again, I’ll get back to it. Running is a part of me now. Striving to be as healthy as I can be (albeit with a treat thrown in now and then), is who I am. This bump in the road was a good reminder that I am still dedicated to my weight loss journey. Although I won’t be running this month, I am still continuing to focus on being positive and healthy as I keep going Down the Scale….