Tag Archives: Diets

Taking Control…Again

Enjoying my 85.5 pound weight loss with a run at one of my favorite running spots!

Enjoying my 85.5 pound weight loss with a run at one of my favorite running spots!

Week 33 of my gastric sleeve surgery journey is here and I have lost a total of 85.5 pounds! I am thrilled, but I must admit I didn’t blog last week because I gained weight. I was a bit freaked out, OK a lot freaked out, over the half pound weight gain I had during Week 32. Common sense says this is normal, but I have plateaued, but not gained since my surgery. I was depressed, worried and scared. I lost one and a half pounds this week so I calmed down and took the time to think about what caused my weight gain.

Of course the weight gain could have just been water gain or just a blip in the weight loss road, but I think it was more than that. I took an honest look at my food consumption and finally admitted I bought the Cheez-Its for me, not my children. I wasn’t eating as many vegetables and fruits as I have in the past. I took control of my food choices this week and fixed my eating habits. I prepared a lot of vegetables to keep in the fridge for easy meals and snacks. I also brought the crock pot back out and I’m making healthy meals like turkey chili that the whole family enjoys.

One of the reasons I choose my surgery is that my smaller stomach keeps me from eating large quantities of food. It also keeps me from eating some “bad” foods like fried foods. Some foods are still easy for me to eat like crackers, pudding and wine so I have to keep quantities and how often I eat them in check. I know that keeping a food journal will help, but I’m saving that for another weight gain or a plateau. I honestly hate keeping a food journal. I find it tedious and boring after a while. I’ve counted points, calories and fat grams throughout the years of dieting. I will journal if I have to, but I hope to make eating the proper amounts and types of food part of my normal life. I am in control of my eating habits, no one else.

I took control of my exercise program again, too. I wasn’t making it a priority and this week I did. I planned out my running days and kept to them. I also changed my running locations. Changing my routine really helped! I ran today in one of my favorite spots in the city and it was invigorating! It inspired me to keep on track and make exercising a real priority in my busy schedule.

I am, and always will be, working on controlling my anxiety and stress levels. Some days I feel completely overwhelmed with the day-to-day activities my husband, children and I have to attend. While some things like school and work can’t be ignored, I feel like the other activities we commit to take away from our time together as a family. I am not sure what the answer is to this stress, but we did take a day this weekend just for our family. We went to Point Reyes National Seashore for the day and it was perfect. We had spectacular weather, amazing views, interesting wildlife to view, great walking paths, but more importantly no cellphone service! No phone calls, no texts and no alerts to interrupt our family day. My stress levels dropped considerably and I felt closer to my family. While we can’t run away from our responsibilities, it’s time to spend more time as a family.

Taking control of my weight loss is an ongoing process and I expect there will be more bumps in the road. Hopefully by taking control of my eating and exercising habits will help my weight loss to continue.   And I do know that spending more time doing fun activities with my family will help, too. I’m looking forward to going Down the Scale even more now!

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Here Today, Gone Tomorrow….

Tomorrow is the day. The next chapter in my weight loss journey begins. It isn’t the last chapter since my journey will continue forever. I will always need to think about my weight, my eating habits and exercise. I have no doubt about that. Tomorrow is the start of my new way of eating, thinking and living.

At about 11:30 AM, part of my stomach will be removed. Adios! Au Revoir! Buh Bye! It isn’t magic, but gastric sleeve surgery. For a more scientific explanation, visit http://www.sutterpacific.org/bariatrics/weightloss/vertical-gastrectomy.html. In a nutshell, my stomach becomes a sleeve that can hold about 1 to 2 ounces. My surgeon will stitch me back up and I will stay overnight at the hospital. Assuming my new stomach isn’t leaking the next day, I’ll be right back home and start losing weight.

I am not fond of full body photos, but I am happy to have a few before I begin my transformation.  Always important to remember where you came from!

I am not fond of full body photos, but I am happy to have a few before I begin my transformation. Always important to remember where you came from!

Sounds easy, right? It won’t be that way and I know that. The gastric sleeve is just a tool to help me lose weight. The new stomach forces me to be mindful of my portions and types of food I eat. It may seem like a quick fix, but in fact this is a lifestyle change. It gives me the eating boundaries I need.

While I love spontaneity and surprises, I actually thrive on structure. I’m a planner, sometimes to a fault. In the case of my eating habits, this is what I need. The gastric sleeve will make me think, make me plan and actually physically keep me from overeating. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I need this kind of physical boundary to keep me in check.

Oh, I’m good with boundaries like diets. I am a successful dieter for about four months. After that I’m bored or frustrated with the diet. Or I’m full of confidence that I can continue or maintain the weight loss on my own. The key problem with this is that I said the word, diet, not lifestyle change. Diets are temporary and don’t work for me. I needed to think of my weight loss journey as a lifestyle change, a permanent one. I am finally committing to a lifestyle change with my surgery.

It is this commitment that makes this time different. There is no going back. My stomach will not grow. Yes, it can stretch a bit, but eating large amounts of food will not work or vomiting will ensue. I have a slightly irrational fear of vomiting. That fear alone will help keep me in line, physically. Mentally, it will actually be harder for me. Eating mindlessly, eating when happy, eating when sad, they are all part of me. I have to remove this part of me on my own.

In theory, eating right and exercising will take and keep the weight off. I honestly wish I was that person who could succeed on her own. I am not. I need help and I am finally admitting it and taking charge of my health and my life. To many, this must seem like such a drastic step and I agree it is a huge undertaking. I haven’t made this decision lightly or without considering the risks involved.

After more than six months of waiting (required by my health insurance), researching, thinking, talking with friends and family, and a bit of good old-fashioned praying, I decided that the gastric sleeve surgery is the best path for me to follow. Fortunately, loving and supportive family and friends surround me. This journey is about me and what I need and want, but I can’t walk it alone. And I don’t want to be alone. I’ve been alone too long in this obese hell and I am thankful I won’t be going Down the Scale alone…