Tag Archives: Moping

The Last Week of the Blahs…I Promise!

Week five of my gastric sleeve surgery journey is here and I hate it. I’m not a happy camper and I’m trying hard to get over it. I’m worse than my kids when they want to play their computers and I say no. I’m an instant gratification kind of gal and it’s not happening this week.

I’ve only lost one pound this week. Yeah me, I should say. Losing is better than gaining, right? But I went through an invasive, expensive surgery that has caused me and my family, time, money, and emotions. I researched online about post-op sleeve results and I know a slow weight loss or even no loss is very common. I just didn’t think this would happen to me. I’ve always had great results from all the weight loss programs I’ve done. I don’t think I’ve had a week during a weight loss program were I didn’t lose weight; the problem has always been maintaining the weight loss.

It’s the knowledge that my sleeve will help me maintain my eventual goal weight that is keeping me going now. Also, that as impatient of a person I am, I am also a fighter and a planner. When I want or need to accomplish a goal, I go after it with determination, drive and a bit of crazy energy. Time to wipe the tears off my thinner face and go for it. I am having successes even if they’re not showing up on the scale.

For one, I feel so much better. It is easier to keep up the with kids when they ride their scooters through the park. I’ve started walking on my own for exercise and it feels wonderful. I know I’m almost ready to start running and that makes me happy. Stairs are much easier to manage, even the two flights I climb to do each of the six loads of laundry my family magically creates weekly. Not carrying 25.5 pounds of fat really does make moving easier.

I know I look different. My face is less puffy and my body is smaller. The biggest NSV (non-sleeve victory, as it’s known in the gastric sleeve world) is I’m down two pant sizes and one shirt size. Shopping for a few pieces of clothing last weekend was exhilarating. The closer I get to shopping in the “normal” women’s section the happier I am.

My Down the Scale journey has not been as easy and smooth as I imagined, but it’s time for me to come to terms with it. I can’t change the surgery and even with the disappointment, anger, sadness and frustration I feel, deep down I know I will make this new lifestyle work the best I can. This week is one of those times that I need to take a few deep breaths, remind myself of my accomplishments so far, and put on my big girl panties (well not too big) and work toward my weight loss and lifestyle change goal. Here I go…

Week 5 with pants two sizes down and a shirt one size down.  Yeah to non-sleeve victories!

Week 5 with pants two sizes down and a shirt one size down. Yeah to non-sleeve victories!

Advertisements

The Zombie Curse is Lifting….

As dramatic as that sounds, it is true. I feel human on day ten of my recovery from gastric sleeve surgery. Ten days can go by slowly, but I survived it and I’m on the path to my new normal.

Since coming home from the hospital, it has been emotional, exhausting and awkward. Thankfully, my family didn’t send me back to the hospital or a mental hospital, which might have been appropriate. Changing my body, which also changed my way of thinking, has been one of the hardest situations I have willingly put myself in.

Learning to live with my small stomach is more challenging than I realized. I did the Optifast diet (only liquids and the random protein bar) for six months so I assumed this would be just as simple. Wrong! With the Optifast diet I supplemented the meager liquid food with Diet Coke. Really, healthy I know. Since my new stomach only holds one to two ounces, I can’t fill up on other food or drink. Physically, I don’t need the food or drink, but for the first few days my head believed it did need it. If the food smelled too good while my family was eating, I hid in my bedroom and moped. But I did try to remind myself that this is the liquid stage and, then pureed food stage is only for a month. I’m not proud to say I let self-doubt creep into my brain and let myself whine that a month was too long.

Fortunately I came to my senses today. A month really isn’t that long. July 3rd is not that far away. I really am starting to believe these statements, but spending the day outside with my kids changed my attitude completely today.

The guilt of putting my kids through one month of their summer vacation with their whiney mother finally got to me. We have amazingly gorgeous weather now. When you live in San Francisco, you know to enjoy every sunny day in the summer. The cold and fog creep in before you realize it and that is your summer. The kids and I have been out a bit this week, but I decided Friday was the day to truly enjoy it.

The kids and I enjoying a beautiful day.  And I'm celebrating my 15 pound weight loss too!

The kids and I enjoying a beautiful day. And I’m celebrating my 15 pound weight loss too!

Continue reading