Tag Archives: Pity Party

The Last Week of the Blahs…I Promise!

Week five of my gastric sleeve surgery journey is here and I hate it. I’m not a happy camper and I’m trying hard to get over it. I’m worse than my kids when they want to play their computers and I say no. I’m an instant gratification kind of gal and it’s not happening this week.

I’ve only lost one pound this week. Yeah me, I should say. Losing is better than gaining, right? But I went through an invasive, expensive surgery that has caused me and my family, time, money, and emotions. I researched online about post-op sleeve results and I know a slow weight loss or even no loss is very common. I just didn’t think this would happen to me. I’ve always had great results from all the weight loss programs I’ve done. I don’t think I’ve had a week during a weight loss program were I didn’t lose weight; the problem has always been maintaining the weight loss.

It’s the knowledge that my sleeve will help me maintain my eventual goal weight that is keeping me going now. Also, that as impatient of a person I am, I am also a fighter and a planner. When I want or need to accomplish a goal, I go after it with determination, drive and a bit of crazy energy. Time to wipe the tears off my thinner face and go for it. I am having successes even if they’re not showing up on the scale.

For one, I feel so much better. It is easier to keep up the with kids when they ride their scooters through the park. I’ve started walking on my own for exercise and it feels wonderful. I know I’m almost ready to start running and that makes me happy. Stairs are much easier to manage, even the two flights I climb to do each of the six loads of laundry my family magically creates weekly. Not carrying 25.5 pounds of fat really does make moving easier.

I know I look different. My face is less puffy and my body is smaller. The biggest NSV (non-sleeve victory, as it’s known in the gastric sleeve world) is I’m down two pant sizes and one shirt size. Shopping for a few pieces of clothing last weekend was exhilarating. The closer I get to shopping in the “normal” women’s section the happier I am.

My Down the Scale journey has not been as easy and smooth as I imagined, but it’s time for me to come to terms with it. I can’t change the surgery and even with the disappointment, anger, sadness and frustration I feel, deep down I know I will make this new lifestyle work the best I can. This week is one of those times that I need to take a few deep breaths, remind myself of my accomplishments so far, and put on my big girl panties (well not too big) and work toward my weight loss and lifestyle change goal. Here I go…

Week 5 with pants two sizes down and a shirt one size down.  Yeah to non-sleeve victories!

Week 5 with pants two sizes down and a shirt one size down. Yeah to non-sleeve victories!

One Month Down…Blah….

Today is my four-week anniversary of my gastric sleeve surgery. I should be celebrating with balloons and confetti! Well, not confetti, since I would have to clean it up, but you get the point. And while I am happy and still don’t regret my surgery, I’m not feeling that excited about my success so far.

What the hell is wrong with me?” I asked after I weighed in this morning. I’ve lost 24.5 pounds and gone down one clothing size and one shoe size. Not too shabby for a month! As it is with most things, I wanted more. I wanted this huge statement, like 30 lbs! I wanted this huge difference in my body! Here are my photos from before and after so far, and my hubby promises me there is a difference. I do see less puffiness in my face and since my jeans are falling off I know my body has changed.

3 days after my surgery.

3 days after my surgery.

4 weeks after surgery!

4 weeks after surgery!

I had my pity party this morning, so now it’s time to give myself a swift kick in my now smaller rear. I feel good and my body feels healed. “Real” food is part of my diet although I’m nervous to try too many new foods. Fear of gaining weight and vomiting is helping me take this new part of my food lifestyle slow. After doing the Optifast liquid diet for six months, I threw up for about three months afterward so I’m erring on the side of caution. My focus is still on protein so chicken, real chewable chicken, is my mainstay.

What I know is really going to inspire me is exercising. I have been walking, but I’ve been given the OK from my doctor to start really exercising. Fast walking is on the schedule and then back to running. I have a new phone and new headphones so I can start back on Couch to 5K. This year, I’ll be ready for the Thanksgiving 5K race. Last year I did finish, but I was not ready physically or mentally for the race. I vow to be prepared this year and really enjoy it!

I realize this next month will be filled with new challenges like eating out. If I can spend two weeks on a liquid diet and then two weeks with pureed foods, I can handle anything can’t I? Yes, I can! I am the little engine that could….with a smaller caboose.