Tag Archives: Surgery

Keeping It Going Over a Year Later….

16 months and 106.5 later, my gastric sleeve journey continues here at Down the Scale. To keep me motivated, I thought it would be a good time to reflect on the positive habits I have made. I think it helps to remind myself of all the things that go into keeping myself healthy and happy as I continue to strive to lose weight.

For me, the most important change I made was to eat smaller portions of healthier food. My smaller stomach helps with this, but I still need to think about what I eat and how much of it I eat. I prioritize my food by protein first and then vegetables. I eat fruit as a snack or part of my breakfast occasionally. I rarely eat carbohydrates as they fill my stomach very quickly. I haven’t cut them out completely, but when I do indulge, it’s usually only one piece of bread or a small portion of rice or pasta.

Now, I must admit I still indulge in less healthy food from time to time. I still drink alcohol, but only one or two glasses. I do splurge at parties with a small piece of cake. The difference now is the amount and frequency I eat higher calorie and sugary food. It’s supposed to be a treat for a reason and now I finally “get it.”

I also have finally learned that I need to cut some foods out completely. Really, I wasn’t eating trail mix for the nuts…who does? And Chex Mix is banned from my home. I never once measured out either food like I said I would when I bought them.

There are times I do need to measure my food and track it. When my weight loss stalls I find that recording my food intake helps. Using the app My Fitness Pal is an easy way to keep an eye on my eating habits. I only have to do it for a few days to get back on track.

A year does make a difference!  On the left is last year's visit to the pumpkin patch 4 months after my surgery.  On the right is this year's photo.  I'm looking forward to comparing these to next year's photo!

A year does make a difference! On the left is last year’s visit to the pumpkin patch four months after my surgery. On the right is this year’s photo. I’m looking forward to comparing these to next year’s photo!

I also use My Fitness Pal to record my weight. I “officially” weigh-in once a week. Making my weight only count once a week keeps me from focusing solely on the numbers in my weight loss journey. While I would still like to lose seven pounds, I prefer to concentrate on maintaining my current weight loss. To do this, I have a “weight window.” It’s a five-pound range I want to stay in. This keeps me aware of my weight, but allows for those weeks where I indulge a bit. If I go above the window, I start tracking my food immediately.

If I go below the window for a month I know it’s time to adjust the window. I just changed it a month after my hernia repair and tummy tuck surgery since I lost about nine pounds. Some of that loss was from the excess skin removal and lack of eating after surgery. Now that I’m a month out and I’m maintaining a new weight, I adjusted the window to keep myself on track and motivated.

Exercising is a big key to maintaining much of my weight loss. And when I say exercise I don’t necessarily mean exercise in the sense of a dedicated activity for a set of amount of time. I do think that kind of exercise is important and I’m looking forward to running once again. And I do know that I must start weight lifting to tone my body. But I think it’s the everyday physical activity that is essential to my healthy lifestyle. Walking as much as I can is extremely important to me. I could tell how much both physically and mentally I missed walking during my surgery recovery. Now that I’m back to walking my kids to school, I am happier. Adding more activities to my week keeps me healthy physically and mentally.

16 months of concentrated weight loss has been daunting at times. I find when I get frustrated, bored or depressed, I need to go back to the basics:

*Eating better

*Tracking my food

*Getting on the scale only once a week to see if I’m in my weight window

*Adding more exercise, either structured or relaxed

And last, but not least, I remind myself how far I’ve come in my journey…106.5 pounds gone for good! Feeling healthy and happy really are the best reminders of how important taking care of myself is for me and my family. I’m thrilled to still be going Down the Scale…

Advertisement

The Line Drawn on my Abdomen…

A month has passed since my abdominal hernia and tummy tuck surgeries. How am I doing? Honestly, it’s bad. Honestly, it’s good. Yes, I’m a bit wishy-washy about how I feel about my surgery. Just as there are two sides to a coin, there are two sides to my recovery.

Let’s talk bad and get it out of the way. The worst part is that I feel like Frankenstein. I have a large incision from hip to hip. It’s pinkish with a few scabs here and there. At each hip, the incision is bumpy and ridge-like. My lower abdomen is swollen and my abdominal muscles hurt from time to time. Beneath my clothes, it’s just not very pretty.

Here I am about 3 weeks after surgery, out and about with my family.

Here I am about 3 weeks after hernia repair and tummy tuck surgery.  It feels amazing to have lost 105.5 pounds since my gastric sleeve surgery!

Since my surgery, I have been concerned that I was healing properly. I meet with both my hernia repair surgeon and plastic surgeon last week and I finally was reassured. Dr. J. said my hernia repair went well and I was in good shape. He gave me his approval to start moving more and to even run when I’m ready. Phew!

My meeting with Dr. C., my plastic surgeon, was even better. I disrobed and he took one look at what I considered to be my horrible stomach and said everything looked great. Really? I pointed out parts and he said the healing was all completely normal. The ridges on my hip incisions would settle in time. The incision was healing properly. He had no concerns. I had to laugh when he told me the scars would lessen in time and would be like my c-section scars. I actually never saw my c-section scars due to my large overhanging stomach!

My concerns lightened even more when Dr. C said I could be swollen for 9 to 12 months after surgery. Even with all my scars and swelling, I will admit I think I look pretty good right now…with clothes on. Considering how far out my stomach protruded before surgery, my stomach seems pretty flat to me. I am now excited to see how it will look a year from surgery.

More importantly, I feel good. The first few weeks, I was very achy and scared that I would be sore for a long time. A month later, I am sore at the end of the day, but I can get around much better! I’m back to walking my kids to school. Both doctors gave me approval to start running as long as I feel up to it, so I have committed to my third Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving. I don’t expect to run a personal best, but if I run any of it, I will be thrilled. I am just happy to get back to being the active person I became after my gastric sleeve surgery.

My surgeries were not the easiest procedures I have been through, but I don’t regret them one bit. Everything I do from surgeries, to eating better, to exercising, are all part of my overall plan to be a better me. Looking good on the outside is great, but feeling healthier and happier are the best rewards.

Going Down in Size and the Scale…

Two weeks after my incisional hernia repair and tummy tuck, and I'm up and going!

Two weeks after my incisional hernia repair and tummy tuck, and I’m up and going!

It’s been two weeks since I made another “investment” in myself. I’m recovering from my abdominal hernia repair and tummy tuck surgeries relatively well. I’m sore, tired and emotional, but I’m slowly getting back to normal. I thought this recovery would be easier than my gastric sleeve surgery, but I’m not sure that it is. The physical pain is worse and the emotional aftermath is more than I anticipated, but just as I knew my sleeve surgery was worth it, I feel the same way about this surgery. The past two weeks are just another part of my journey to a healthier me.

So, let’s go back two weeks ago. The ever-supportive hubby and I arrived at the same hospital in the morning. I was excited, nervous and dying for a cup of coffee. Not eating before surgery is easy, but no coffee is torture. I forgot my coffee desires once I went back to pre-op. This experience was easier than last year’s experience. Losing 100+ pounds makes an IV go in a lot easier and quicker!

The strangest part of pre-op was having my plastic surgeon, Dr. C., take a Sharpie pen to my body to mark the incisions and areas where he would remove the skin. The reality of my future body hit me. I would have a “normal” stomach. The reality of the future pain also dawned on me as I saw how much he skin he would be taking. To distract myself from that thought, I asked Dr. C if they would weigh the skin they removed. OK, I know it sounds gross, but wouldn’t you want to know? He promised me he would let me know.

Finally, I went in the operating room and I was out before I knew it. I’m not sure what my surfer-dude anesthesiologist gave me, but I went under quickly and I woke up in the recovery room feeling great. My nurse kept the good feelings going with a cup of delicious ice chips. My mood continued with Dr. C walking in. My hernia surgeon, Dr. J, finished his part first, so Dr. C was there to check on me and call my husband with the results.

Everything went well according to Dr. C. I was thrilled to have my hernia repaired, my intestines put back into place and the skin removed. Dr. C. gave me the number I asked for…three and a half pounds of skin and fat removed! Yikes! No matter how much exercise I did, I would have never worked that off my stomach.

Unfortunately my good mood faltered once I got to my hospital room. My poor roommate was in pain after whatever surgery she had and she didn’t speak English. She and the great nurses managed to communicate when her family wasn’t there, but it made for a chaotic setting. It did distract me somewhat from my own issues. The nausea set in as soon as I settled in my room. I do not handle the IV pain medication well. I must have had my own language issues because I couldn’t get the nurses to take me off it They would give me anti-nausea medication thankfully, but it made for a long night.

The next morning the hubby joined me at the hospital. Once Dr. C and J., Dr. J’s physician assistant come by and told me I needed to stay another night, I sent Dave home. I learned from my sleeve surgery that I needed to sleep as much as I could so Dave didn’t need to keep me company. Also, I felt better having him home with the kids. Much of my surgical anxiety comes from my children’s emotional well-being. Knowing Dave was with them helped me.

So, I was stuck another night at the hospital. I was not a happy camper. Just when I was resigning myself to another night of nausea and noise, an angel appeared. I didn’t think it would be in the form of a tall, slightly German accented man. This nurse happily took me off the IV pain medication. Nurse A was my hero! He switched me to a liquid painkiller, which even with its rock candy dipped in Kool-Aid flavor, was 100 times better. The nausea went away and the neon green lime jello was finally appealing.

When Dr. J and J, the physician assistant, arrived the next morning, I was sitting in a chair chatting with Dave. They smiled and said I looked like I was ready to go home. Yes, I was! Of course, it’s never that simple. I kept hearing that line from the song “Hotel California”, “You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.” Nurse E needed discharge papers from Dr. C and he was in surgery. Can I tell you how wonderfully persistent Nurse E was for me? She called, she texted and she kept calling until she received the discharge information. She and the hubby helped me get ready to go home which included finding an easy way to get dressed with my drains.

Yes, I was sent home with two drains, one near each hip. From what I understand, they are there to help with recovery, but I found them to be a huge pain and gross. I now have more sympathy for men and their external genitalia. These bulbous shaped drains were pinned to my shirt, but they bounced around and I was always worried about sitting on them.

Finally, I was home to see my babies! My ten-year old’s smile was beautiful and soothing. My six-year-old managed not to squeeze me like she normally does and it was her glowing smile that made me feel warm and fuzzy. And all the “pretty things,” like her butterfly nightlight and flowered shaped trinket box, she insisted on giving me from her room, kept the mood light.

So I was home with my spectacular family when the reinforcements arrived! My always thoughtful friend, N, organized a group of friends to help pick up my kids from school and bring dinner. We were spoiled by all the generosity and help. It was just another reminder of how lucky I am to have such a special group of friends.

Six days after surgery, my drains and many of my bandages were removed. I could finally see some of the results of my surgery. I think “Holy Sh*t” were my exact words the first time I looked in the mirror. I was shocked by my new stomach, in a good way. Although my incisions are Frankenstein-like and my abdomen is swollen, I can see that I am considerably smaller. Let the photos show you:

Here is abdomen on the day of surgery and two weeks after.  What a difference!  I can't wait to see what it looks like when my tummy isn't swollen and is completely healed!

Here is my abdomen on the day of surgery and two weeks after. What a difference! I can’t wait to see what it looks like when my tummy isn’t swollen and is completely healed!

Impressive, if I may so myself. I cannot wait to see what it will look like when I heal completely. I know I will never have the abs of a supermodel, but I don’t care! I just want to have a “normal” body.

So here I am healing and finally getting out and about. I am nowhere near 100%. I tire easily. I am very sore. My incisions itch now and then and they’re still gross to look at. I didn’t expect to be so emotional, but some days I am weepy. I think it’s because I feel a bit helpless and unproductive. In theory, it sounds great to lay around and rest, but after a while it is surprisingly depressing. I never thought I would have strong urges to get up and clean and organize my house. Who knew I would have laundry withdrawal?

Hopefully, these cleaning and organizing urges will be around when I’m allowed to resume normal activities. I’m listening to my surgeons and my personal doctor, Dr. Hubby. My ever-supportive husband is incredible. He is handling his normal responsibilities plus mine while taking care of me. Once again, I realize how lucky I am to have him as my partner in my journey.

Just as I took charge of my health in June 2013 by having gastric sleeve surgery, I am happy that I took charge once again and had the hernia repair and tummy tuck surgeries. Every choice I make that improves my health is worth any pain, depression and nausea if it gets to me to my final goal: being the healthiest and happiest person I can be.

Surgery Number 2, a Quick Update

Just a quick update on yesterday’s surgery. It was the abdominal hernia repair and tummy tuck which I shared in my entry Making an Investment. I’m very sore, but feeling good. I had two c-sections so the pain is similar. And since I’m not nursing a baby every 2 hours I’m sleeping a bit more.

Thank you to my family and friends for their encouragement and support! I promise to write all about the experience and results later at Down the Scale!

IMG_0032-0.JPG

Making an Investment

Next week I head back to the hospital for another procedure since my gastric sleeve surgery. I am excited as well as extremely nervous about my next step to creating the healthiest body I can have. My surgeons will repair the damage to my body by fixing my incisional vertical abdominal hernia and removing excess skin. Committing to more surgery was a difficult decision, but I finally realized that this surgery is just another step in my continuing process of taking care of me.

I have an abdominal hernia from my two c-sections. I never felt quite “put back together” after my first c-section, but I felt a little better after my second so I never really gave my protruding stomach much thought. Since I was obese I just assumed my asymmetrical stomach was normal. It wasn’t until my gastric sleeve surgeon asked me if I knew I had a hernia that I even knew my abdomen wasn’t normal.

15 months after my gastric sleeve surgery and I'm still making changes to be the best "me" I can be!

15 months after my gastric sleeve surgery and I’m still making changes to be the best “me” I can be!

Aside from the displeasing aesthetic look, the hernia didn’t really bother me until almost a year after my gastric sleeve surgery. My running speed and endurance were increasing since I had lost about 100 pounds. I was excited and looking into 5K races. Then the pain started. I couldn’t run without stopping for the pain in my lower right abdomen. After another run cut short by pain, I knew I had to fix the hernia.

Fortunately, my gastric sleeve surgeon could fix my hernia so I headed back to him to schedule the surgery. I just assumed it would be a simple procedure like my sleeve. A few incisions, a night in the hospital and then I’d head home and start running in a few weeks. “No,” was the simple answer Dr. J gave me at my appointment. My assumptions were wrong. This surgery involves pushing my intestines back through my muscles then stitching the muscles up and then my incisions. I’m sure my disappointment and fears showed on my face. I thought I could have this done at the beginning of summer and be back up and running (literally) quickly. This was just a tad more involved, to say the least.

Dr. J added to my fear by telling me that the incisions could get infected easily, especially with all the excess skin I have from my weight loss. He recommended I go see a plastic surgeon to discuss having the skin removed (similar to a tummy tuck). I’m sure I looked at him like he was crazy. Me going to a plastic surgeon? I’m the fat chick aren’t I? It took me a minute to realize that I’m not the obese woman I was before and that plastic surgery was a viable option now. I made the appointment that day to see Dr. C, a plastic surgeon that Dr. J regularly works with on these types of surgery.

My appointment with Dr. C went better than I could have imagined. He’s a calm, practical doctor who answered every question I could think of during my appointment. He showed me pictures of other patients who were like me; seeing proof that my abdomen could actually look normal was thrilling. I appreciated his honesty in telling me my stomach would be better, but I wouldn’t have the abs of a 20-year-old. His office emailed the financial estimate the next day and the ever-supportive hubby and I went through the details together.

Dave and I talked about the surgery and the expected positive outcome for me both physically and mentally. Having the hernia fixed will make me better physically and going back to running will help physically and mentally. I miss running more than I imagined. Even with all the positive reasons to have both surgeries, I was still reluctant. Surgery doesn’t just affect me, but my whole family. After surgery I will have to rely on my family and friends even more than I do now. My husband is going to have to take more of the household and children responsibilities all while maintaining a demanding work schedule. I will need to ask my friends for help in getting my children to school and to their after school activities. The financial burden weighed heavily on my mind, too.

With all these negatives, all it took was one simple sentence from the ever-supportive hubby to make me see the light. Dave looked at me and said, “You’re making an investment.” Besides telling me he loved me for the first time and asking me to marry him, he has never said anything more loving and sexy to me. The person I love thinks that the steps I take to be a happy and healthy person are worthwhile. This was all I needed to hear and I emailed both surgeons to start the process for these next surgeries.

I now realize that my whole weight loss journey is about investing in me. Everything that I do to make me a healthier and happier person is well worth it. Any positive change I make in my life from losing weight to surrounding myself with positive people, is simply an investment in my present and future life. My Down the Scale journey will continue with a variety of investments including my upcoming hernia and tummy tuck surgeries. Who better to invest in than me?

To My Future Fellow Sleever

Over 14 months since I had surgery and I still feel great!

It has been over 14 months since I had my gastric sleeve surgery and I still feel great!

One of the best things to come out of blogging about my gastric sleeve surgery is the connection I have made with people. Family, friends and even complete strangers continually reach out to me about my experience and to share their own. I am very excited for one particular friend who is having surgery next month. I planned to send her a note before her surgery, but I decided to share it as I hope it will help others who are contemplating surgery or thinking of making other important changes in their life.

“To my friend,

I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am for you! I know what a difficult decision you made when you chose gastric sleeve surgery. It isn’t just about losing weight; this journey is about taking control of your physical and mental health. This journey is about YOU!

I won’t assume all your reasons to have surgery are the same as mine.  But I will take a guess that you have been putting your own needs on the back burner. I felt for a long time that I needed to make everyone else in my life a priority, including people who didn’t deserve my efforts. I can honestly say that making myself “number one” in my life makes me a better mother, wife, friend and person. Now that I am in control of my life and that I am happy and less stressed, I am able to be the person I want to be for me and the people in my life.  Surrounding myself with positive people makes the world of difference in my continued success.

Of course, not everything is perfect after surgery. I am not seeking perfection any more. I continue to seek happiness and joy. Some days it is a harder struggle than others, but is a manageable struggle. I am not always in control, but I now have the tools to deal with depression, disappointment and anger.

This leads me to another important piece of advice: use your resources! Your surgeon and his staff are experienced and want you to succeed. Follow their advice and don’t hesitate to ask them for help. While you might not like their advice, it is their experience and knowledge that will help you through the challenges you will face. If you haven’t met with a weight loss therapist yet, I highly recommend finding one. I go through phases when I seek her help more often than others. Having this resource will help you more than you realize.

Let your family and friends help you, too! While many people do not share their surgery publicly, I really feel you should find at least a few people to confide in. You know who you can trust, so call upon them. I was fortunate to have an amazing community of family and friends who didn’t judge me and always offered support and encouragement. Find your community! I am your first supporter, of course!

Will you be judged by family and friends for choosing surgery? Perhaps, but please don’t let it bother you. Sometimes, the people’s fears and concerns for your safety come across as judgement or disappointment. There will also be people who are jealous or threatened by your new confidence and success. Always remember that this journey is about you. Yes, it will benefit your family in the long-term, but it is OK to do what you need to do for you. Push aside everyone’s else opinions and concentrate on your own feelings, needs and beliefs. Always do what is best for you because in the end, that’s truly what matters.

I look forward to being a part of your weight loss journey. I hope my blog gave you the ups and downs of gastric sleeve surgery. More importantly, I want it to have given you hope for a happy new chapter in your life. It won’t be easy this first year. You will cry. You will be angry. You feel disappointment. And that is normal and OK. The excitement, the improved physical and mental health, the sense of control and the feelings of freedom and positivity are well worth it.

My friend, you are beautiful, smart and funny. The new “you” will be stronger version of who you already are today. Thank you for letting me be a part of this next phase in your life. Let’s go Down the Scale together!

Love,
Jen”

100!

Here I am with my beautiful children enjoying delicious snacks at a cafe.  We worked off those snacks with games of tag in the park and then a long and steep walk through one of our favorite neighborhoods.  This defines my weight loss success more than losing 100 pounds -- a day of fun with my kids is of the best weight loss rewards!

Here I am with my beautiful children enjoying delicious snacks at a café. We worked off those snacks with games of tag in the park and then a long and steep walk through one of our favorite neighborhoods. This defines my weight loss success more than losing 100 pounds — a day of fun with my kids!

Yes, I have officially lost 100 pounds! Technically it’s 100.5 pounds in 1 year, 1 month and 11 days.

First, let’s get over the part of me being a little sad about this fact. There is a little voice in my head that tries to negate my success by saying “It’s pathetic you had to lose over 100 pounds to begin with!” Yes, I am telling this voice to take a hike. I’ve always believed that regret isn’t worth the trouble. What has happened has happened and hopefully I learn from my earlier choices and don’t repeat the bad ones. And if I do repeat them, I just try harder not to in the future.

With this negativity pushed away, let’s talk about success! I am a goal-oriented gal so finally hitting my goal of 100 pounds makes me happy and proud. It feels amazing to have met this goal, but it’s not the highlight of my journey like I thought it would be. As I talked about in my last blog, The Scale is Not the Be-All and End-All in Weight Loss”, the scale isn’t my biggest measure of success. The way I feel these days was really what I was looking for when I finally committed to losing weight. Being 100 pounds lighter reflects not only my new body shape and health, but also the more positive outlook I have on myself and my life.

Where do I go from here? I still have my goal of losing another 11.5 pounds to make my goal of being healthy according to the BMI chart. I am still working toward it, but I am not pressuring myself. Sure I’d like to lose this weight, but I am more concerned about maintaining my current weight. All the yo-yo dieting I did over the past 30 years has to stop. I want to treat my body with more respect now. Considering all the damage I’ve done to it, my body has been there for me and given me two amazingly beautiful children. It’s time to pay my body back with eating well and exercising as part of my life and not just as a dieting phase.

Mentally I still struggle with my weight, but when I think about over-eating or making poor choices, I get myself to stop and think about how much better I feel now. I am happier. I am healthier. I can do so much more than I imagined I could. Losing weight is giving me a whole other outlook on life and what I can accomplish. I will always battle the “fat chick” inside of me, but I feel more ready to handle her than I did 100 pounds ago.

So, yes, I will celebrate my weight loss of 100.5 pounds! I am celebrating it every day with the life I now lead with my ever-supportive husband and sweet children. I also celebrate it with my family and friends who have supported me along the way. I am glad that I am sharing my gastric sleeve journey. Going Down the Scale with love and encouragement is one of the best rewards!

The Scale is Not the Be-All and End-All in Weight Loss

Yes, I realize for a blog called “Down the Scale”, naming a post that downplays the scale’s role in a weight loss journey might seem strange. Now that I’m a year past my gastric sleeve surgery, I realize that success is more than a number on the scale. There are so many other ways to measure my success and I need these other kinds of measurements to keep me inspired.

My daughter and I enjoying her first Giants game!  I was thrilled that I only took up my designated spot on the bleachers instead of spilling over into my daughter's seat.  Losing 96.5 pounds is rewarding in so many ways!

My daughter and I enjoying her first Giants game! I was thrilled that I only took up my designated spot on the bleachers instead of spilling over into my daughter’s seat. Losing 96.5 pounds is rewarding in so many ways!

I’m not saying that the scale isn’t important in my life because I will always need it. It keeps me on track and since it is showing me a 96.5 pound weight loss now, I love my scale. Here’s the but…I wish it showed a 100 pound weight loss. I really like the idea of a three digit total loss. I also would ideally like to lose another 15 pounds. When the scale doesn’t show me what I want to see, it’s easy to get frustrated and depressed.

How do I keep from get frustrated and depressed? Fortunately I’ve come up with many ways! First, I went to see the weight loss therapist I met with before I had surgery. I knew I needed help with dealing with my emotions about food (see my blog post One and a Half Pounds of Physical and Emotional Weight…”). When she confirmed all my feelings post-surgery were normal, right there that made me feel great. Who doesn’t like to know that their emotions are typical and not too crazy? Taking care of myself emotionally with professional help reminds me how far I’ve come since I decided to have surgery.

Another important measurement of success is my clothing. I donated all my larger clothes so I can’t go back to wearing them. I used to have at least two different sizes of clothes, so that I would always have something to wear. Even though the scale keeps showing me up and down by two pounds, my clothes still fit well. As long as I stay in my current size, I feel successful with my weight loss.

Feeling “normal” was one of my goals when I chose to finally lose weight. I was tired of standing out for being the “fat chick.” At least that’s how I felt when I was out in crowds and especially when I was out with other women. Last week I enjoyed a great night out with friends and this time when I saw a photo of us all together, my first reaction was “What a great photo!” instead of “Oh, I’m the fat one.” A simple change in my attitude means the world to me.

My favorite measure of success is my overall feeling of health. Just moving around without the physical and emotional weight of 96.5 pounds still amazes me! Walking, hiking and swimming are some of the fun and healthy activities I’m enjoying this summer. I never thought I would crave being outdoors and being active as much as I do now. And let’s not forget the everyday activities that are easy now! Carrying multiple heavy grocery bags up two flights of stairs isn’t a hardship, but just another part of my day. The mental and physical “lightness” of my life is more than I dreamed of when I committed to changing my life over a year ago.

I’m not throwing out my scale, but I am learning not to let it rule my world. Weight loss is more than a number on the scale. It is about feeling good mentally as well as physically. I am thrilled that I am learning to see my accomplishments in more than terms of numbers. Going Down the Scale definitely means so much more in my life now!

My First Year Anniversary of My Gastric Sleeve Surgery!

Yes, a year makes a difference!  96.5 pounds are gone!

Yes, a year makes a difference! 96.5 pounds are gone!

96.5 pounds are gone! This is one of the ways I am marking my first anniversary of my gastric sleeve surgery. Yes, I am thrilled and amazed by the numbers, but that’s not the only success I feel from my surgery. Losing this much weight changed my life in more ways than I could have imagined:

  • I now enjoy walking and participating in outdoor activities! Walking instead of driving to pick up my kids from school and running errands is easy now. Hiking and exploring our great city and surrounding natural attractions are now some of our favorite family activities. For a girl who was always searching for the gift shop and snack bar when doing outdoor activities, this is a huge change!
  • I still enjoy food! I thought going to the Farmers’ Market and eating at restaurants would be a thing of the past, but it is now part of my life in a positive way. I look for better quality food and I eat in smaller amounts. Dinning at restaurants can be challenging, but I can always find a healthy option on most menus.
  • Yes, I will admit that I feel like I am more attractive. And some of this does come from outside validation. Having friends and family comment on my looks does make me feel better about my “outside.” But more importantly, I am more confidant on my outward appearance which makes me seem more confidant. A confidant woman is an attractive woman.
  • Mentally I am in a better place than I could have imagined. Once the crutch of eating my feelings was taken away, it was necessary for me to face my feelings. It’s still not easy and I will always have to work on my mental health. And you know what? That’s OK.

The best measure of success hasn’t been the scale. Sure the numbers are important, but it’s not the end all be all of my weight loss journey success. I finally realized that taking care of myself is not only important, but essential. It doesn’t make me a bad mother or bad wife or bad friend or bad person when I put my physical and mental health first. Such a simple lesson, but it is one I needed to learn.

I look forward to continuing to share my journey…the good and the bad! A huge thanks to everyone who supported me in my first year of my weight loss journey. Here’s to another year of going Down the Scale…

Up the Hill and Down the Scale…

Following Jack and Jill up the hill...really!

Following Jack and Jill up the hill…really!

Week 46 of my gastric sleeve surgery is here and I am happy to announce my new weight loss total is 95 pounds! I lost two pounds last week to get to my new total. I didn’t lose anything this week; I blame the Easter Bunny. OK, not really. My weight loss has been up and down these past few months, so I am concentrating on the other aspects of my journey and going “up the hill” is a huge part of it.

First, let me share with those who don’t know that my children are named Jack and Jill. Yes, my husband and I named our almost 10-year-old and 6-year-old after the fairy tale. Hopefully they’ll still like their names as teenagers or I guess I should start saving for their therapy bills. Anyway…we joke a lot about going “up the hill” because of them. And now I can really join them going up the hill with my new body. Two weekends ago I got the chance to literally go with them.

We spent the weekend with friends in Northern California near snow. My fairytale children spent most of their lives in Florida so snow was completely new to them. We went to Lake Alpine (7,000 foot elevation) for them to have a quick snow experience. When I was 95 pounds heavier, I would have dreaded this trip. This time I was ready for it! Instead of just standing at the end of the snow making a snowman, I joined them walking and running through the snow. Well, as much running as you can do when you keep sinking in the snow. It was icy and now and then we would drop into the snow.

I laughed as my legs would fall through the snow and it would be up to my knees. I know I wouldn’t have done this is the past. The first drop in the snow with my heavier body would have crushed my spirit. Not this time! I pulled myself up out of the snow and kept following my kids. They found a hill and started sledding. The laughter, the cheesy grins and the screams of delight were infectious. I had to join them.

I did hesitate though. Thoughts of my old body haunted me and I grabbed the sleds to try to find a weight limit on them. My ever-supportive husband took a sled and headed up the hill first. Watching him laugh and the kids cheering him loudly was just the encouragement I needed. I grabbed a sled and walked right up the hill.

I lowered my body on the sled and looked down the hill. Granted, it wasn’t that big of a hill, but to this formerly obese woman, it was a mountain. “Would I actually be able to slide down?,” I worried. In the words of the incessantly played song “Let it Go”, I did just that. I pushed off and glided down the hill.

My "tah-dah!" moment after sledding for the first time with my new body!

My “tah-dah!” moment after sledding for the first time with my new body!

It was fun. It was quick. It was freedom. I kneeled up on the sled and threw my arms in the air. My son was behind me, waiting for his turn and laughing with me. My ever-supportive husband and my daughter cheered. Such a simple act of sledding brought me such confidence, fun and joy.

Those feelings are the ones that I want to remember as I continue this journey Down the Scale. Losing weight is full of such intense emotions, good and bad. I want to remember the joy of confidently walking up the hill and then letting go and enjoying the freedom of going down the hill. Life is all about ups and downs I think. And a trip to the snow was just what I needed to see the beauty in that…